Okay, Listen Here

Okay, Listen Here

Friday, March 30, 2012

Pullin’ Pranks and Gettin’ Punk’d

Pranks and tom-foolery seem to be somewhat of a lost art in my world these days. I suppose we’re all so grown up and serious, so career minded and busy that we don’t have time for such things anymore. Well, for most, anyway. But it hasn’t always been like that in my own private world. I’ll give you a view of times past……

One Christmas, we had dinner and the family gathering at M&M’s farm. There was foolishness afoot when my sister Dr M and I went out to the pasture to collect some chips, shall we say. What good could come of going to the pasture for chips on Christmas day, you say? Well….there’s a very special Uncle J and his lovely wife Auntie B who won the family-prankster-recipients-of-the-year award. And so, off we went, Dr M and I, to gather. (It was someone else’s job to handle the Auntie B foolishness.) And what became of the chips? Well, they ended up stuffed into an old work boot, wrapped in beautiful papers and ribbons for Uncle J to rip apart and throw in a wide circle across M&M’s brand new living room carpeting. You can imagine the whoops and hollers that went up in that crowded room, and the cries of M&M. There’s nothing like a bit of manure to complete any family Christmas gathering, aye?

The greatest prank (though unintentional) to ever occur at my childhood home was when my father was bitten by a snake while trimming the bushes. Not funny, I know, but hear me out, okay? See, it was a hot southern day and Daddy wasn’t exactly the fondest of lawn care. That was my mother’s true love. So here he is, trimming the hedges when he gets bit. And right there within reach was the guilty snake, which Daddy immediately picks up and flings across the yard. Mother, being a nurse, examines him quickly and sees the two marks and rushes him off to the ER without checking to see what kind of snake nabbed him. Anyway, I just remember him looking white as a sheet. Later that day, when they returned from the hospital, he didn’t look so very white, but rather more red-faced with embarrassment. Apparently the doc had sent them home to examine the bushes a bit closer. It would seem that he wasn’t bitten, but rather stung. By hornets or wasps, I don’t remember which. And yes, still laying where it was flung was the innocent snake…..of the species reptilious-plasticus! I guess my brother had lost it in the shrubs one day! Oh but we laughed for years….

Now my sister Dr M’s birthday is on April Fool’s Day. Oh the pranks I would LOVE to pull on her. But sadly, my immediate family makes me play nicey-nice. But I’ll tell you, I’ve always wanted to send her a box of birthday chocolates. Well, mostly chocolates, anyway. I think it’d be fun to remove a few of the candied delicacies and replace them with hand-dipped ….... chocolate …..... cotton balls? Imagine her surprise!!! Tehehehe………Blek! Of course, now she’s on to me after reading this : /

Food pranks are always fun, like presenting a cake for dinner that’s really mashed potato iced meatloaf (the kids love this one!). Familyfun.com is a good resource for food tricks. And of course, these days pranking happens more frequently on Facebook (change the language) or Microsoft (change the screen to the blue-death-screen). Office tricks in our technology enhanced world are fun, so you can explore a few here… http://www.aprilfools.com/office-pranks.html#Auto-Correct (I admit I’ve had a bit of no-good-silliness with spellcheck myself!)

So has the fun been shut down in your world? Do you have crazy prank memories? What April Fool’s Day foolishness will you pull this year?

Thursday, March 29, 2012

E-Readers Anyone?

I recently had a lovely day with Pantster and our friend, the Fabulous Lynn Raye Harris, joined us for lunch. In the course of our conversations, they repeatedly referred to books they had read on their electronic readers. Then they moved on to compare features on their different electronic gadgets.

As most anyone who talks with me for at least ten minutes knows, I am a Luddite. I don't fear technology. I just usually don't like it and it doesn't like me. In fact, it hates me. That's right; technology hates me. All of my technological gadgets stop working and/or malfunction at a very alarming rate, especially at school. My smart board and computers act up about twice as often as the machines of the other teachers on my hall. This school year alone, my room's telephone has had to have a technician visit it twice. Once it was so bad that after the regular technician worked on it for about an hour, he called in his supervisor who ended up telling him to just order a new phone. So believe me when I say that the problem between technology and me is severe!

Then there is my love of books. As I have mentioned before, I love the way books smell and feel in my hand. Love books, hate technology, so you can just imagine the strength of my desire to not have an e-reader. But then I heard my friends talking about all the different things they could read on them and how quickly they could just click on a link then wham! There was a new book right in their hands. The town where I live doesn't even have a book store, so you can probably see what a powerful attraction getting the book I want instantly would be. They also mentioned how they can get electronic copies of books that aren't available in print. I hate to miss out on anything so that made me stop and consider.

I am bringing it to you to help me decide.
  • Do you have an e-reader? If so, what is your favorite thing about owning it?
  • Do you wish you had one? Why?
  • If you have one how did you decide between the different types, especially Nook vs. Kindle?

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Bread and Circuses

Bread and Circuses – Rome. Remember the gladiators? Feed the masses and give them entertainment, bloodthirsty entertainment. What more could the public want? Seems to be a theme going here in the United States or at least in the literature. I must give credit where credit is due for this blog. I read Playground Monitor’s blog last week on the “Hunger Games” and decided that I had to read it to find out what all the uproar was about. Well, I read the book. Here’s my take on it and it's my opinion only.

Actually it was a very good book. Suzanne Collins drew you in and made you like the heroine, Katniss. You identify with the girl and her tribulations in a post-apocalyptic world. Then Collins made you want to root for her in the games. She had to win. I think it was well written, a bit stilted in some parts, but overall a very good, quick read. Now, I am a lot older than the average fan of this book and I have a lot of life experiences that a pre-teen would not have. I can appreciate the darkness and the cynicism about the government. I understand the struggle for survival that is all through this book. Katniss does exactly what I would do to protect my family. She does it nobly and with honor. All the things we hold dear in a heroine.

BUT, I just do not see this as a young adult novel, or at least a novel for the pre-teens who are devouring it. The darkness, the despair and the utter hopelessness that pervades the book could become depressing. I also do not think that a pre-teen (and here I am actually talking about fourth to sixth grade children) should be subjected to the murder and mayhem occurring in the book. It just seems too intense. I won’t spoil the book for those of you who have not read it but there is one character who dies in this book and it is not an easy death. I hated it but it was a necessary part of the plot. I am conflicted about this book being read by children who do not possess enough life knowledge to understand that death is final and that, unlike a video game, you aren’t coming back from it. I truly believe death has been trivialized by a lot of things in our society – video games where the object is murder makes it seem impermanent. This is not to say that Ms. Collins trivialized the deaths in the book. What I am trying to say is that children reading this see a heroine who kills. Without the knowledge that is pertinent to understanding Katniss’s predicament, the killing of others just seems inconsequential. I think that the age limit for this book should be, like movies, rated to young adults, thirteen and above. Just my opinion.

The theme of this book closely parallels the gladiator games in Rome. I also wonder about what the popularity of this book says about us. Are we like the ancient Romans who need excitement and the death of others to make us feel more alive or to feel entertained? I know, it’s just a book but it’s a young adult novel. Do our children understand the deaths and the reasons for those deaths in the book? That the government is punishing the Districts like Rome punished its provinces? Maybe this would be a good time to show the children that this has actually happened before. Those who do not know history are doomed to repeat it.

How do you feel about the book? Do you feel that it’s appropriate for pre-teens (and I know they do) to read this? Give me your opinion on the books, whether you’ve read them or will read them. Also, tell me your thoughts on the underlying theme of the book. I’d like to know.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Swim Like Nobody's Business

Once I had the privilage of hearing Nora Roberts speak at a conference.  This past Sunday, my pastor preached about something similiar to what Nora had to say back then about swimming pools.  Both topics resonated with me in a profound way, especially since we just took our pool cover off.  And so, I got to pondering, like I always do, about Nora's speech, my pastor's sermon, swimming pools, my life and where I see myself yesterday, today and tomorrow.

First, before you jump into a pool, make sure there's plenty of water!

Second, now that your pool is full, DIVE or JUMP into the water!  That's the first step in bringing your dreams to life. 

Can't swim?  Invest in a buoy or an innertube.  Be careful, intertubes have a tendency to spin you round and round until you're so dizzy you don't know where the deep end is.  Want a body-length float to ease your weary bones and take in some sun, complete with drink cozy?  Be careful not to get so comfortable you fall asleep and drift off course.

How does someone achieve their dreams in a swimming pool metaphor?  As Nora says, you must JUMP in and paddle yourself to the other side or chance getting nowhere fast.  You can tread water, doggie paddle, or swim like a fish, whichever methods you choose.  But first, you have to get into the pool and then, you must move forward.  Nevermind the pool can be a scary place, especially when it's filled with other writers trying not to drown, kicking and slapping the surface to reach the other side.  Magnify that image by thousands and you've got a tsunami headed near you.

So how can you swim the vast pool without losing sight of your goals?

Rule #1: JUMP in the water. 

You can slide in, JUMP in or step down the ladder one run at a time, but you MUST be in the water at some point.  Forty feet of water or more rests between you and your goal - the deep end.  Some writers never make it.  Fear overwhelms them and makes them sink like a rock.  Fear of failure, of success cramps others calves.  Whatever your fears, whatever obsticles you face, don't EVER give up!  The deep end of a pool shouldn't be feared.  In it's depths can be found strength, endurance, and gumption to survive when life-guards have been called and all others have turned around and gone back to the shallow end in order to stand on their feet. 

Rule #2: TRUST your limbs, your intuition, your talent, your ability to make it to the other side. 

Within each of us is a dream, a goal the Creator has nourished for a purpose.  If we give in to exhaustion.  If we call out for a buoy.  If we turn back before reaching the other side, we cheat ourselves and will never know what could have been.

Rule #3: Never lose sight of your TARGET goal.

When you're in the pool, focus on what you believe, what you know, the goal that's worth swimming your butt off for.  Winston Churchill said, "Never give up!"  Don't watch the other swimmers or compare yourself.  That's a waste of time.  Some flail about like drowning rats, clawing in a panic to use you to keep them afloat.  Some prefer to dunk you under the water when you get too close,rather than see you succeed.  And then there are those - I love these the most! - who cheer you on from the sidelines, and even within the pool itself, urging you to stroke, stroke, stroke the water until you grasp onto the opposite edge in rapturous glee.  It is there and only there, success, like a waterfall, soothes with ten-thousand delights.

If you jumped into the water late last year, entered the Golden Heart and finaled, you're enjoying the cooling effects of that waterfall now.  If you didn't final, like me, take heart.  We jumped in the water when so many others didn't.  We kicked our feet and swam with the best as far as we could go.  We didn't turn back.  Remember, the prize isn't a contest final.  The prize is the ultimate goal - the deep end.  We reached it simply by submitting our manuscripts for the contest.

Rule #4: Swim like nobody's business!

Share your sink or swim stories with us today.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Traveling Heavy

Last week The Guy had to go out of town on business. He wanted me to go. Since the biggest pressing thing I had to do was proof, I figured I could do that in a hotel room. And it was only going to be for two nights. Less that 48 hours.

One would have thought we could have had a small bag each and maybe a few hanging work clothes for him. Not so. First there were the electronics: Two laptops, two tablets, two cell phones, a Kindle and everything it takes to charge all that plus track balls, cables, and power supplies. There was also unrecognizable stuff (to me) that he needed for his work. I didn't ask. I don't care.

I like to proof from a hard copy and I like to proof in a bigger, different font because I find the typos easier, so I had 348 printed pages. It took up a whole tote bag.

Haunted by Rhonda Nelson's inability to get diet Mountain Dew in her hotel in Texas last week, I had to load up on that. Fearful that I would eat candy bars and potato chips out of the vending machine, I figured I'd take some fruit, Laughing Cow Cheese, and Triscuits. That led to paper plates, napkins, and a knife for spreading cheese and slicing apples.

Then there were our clothes.

Do you see where I am going with this? When did it get to the point where we had to have so much stuff? One could argue that we didn't need tablets since we had laptops, but they are so handy. And after all, they only took up a little space in our messenger bags.

Time was, I could travel light. Now it seems that I need almost as much for two night as I need for two weeks in Europe.

Can you travel light?

Friday, March 23, 2012

Breathe It All In

Several years ago I witnessed something that just about made my toolbelt loose its grip. My longtime friend Painter Girl and I entered Lowes one day to find a few parts for something I’ve long since forgotten the details of. You’re familiar with Lowes, right? How it’s laid out? So here Painter Girl and I walk down that wide channel betwixt the registers and the store aisles and I gander a look over at her while I’m talking about something or other. (It would seem I love to talk. That’s at least been pointed out to me a lot lately. Huh.) Anyway, there she is, in another land inside her head that I have no entry to, enjoying the entrance into her secret world like you’d expect a time traveler revisiting an age where surely their lover is, and they simply can't wait to find their mate. I was really shocked to see Painter Girl like this. I’d never witnessed such abandon from her before. It brought me to a stop right there in the middle of that front row. And that’s when it hit me. And I voiced it too, I said, “OMG! Painter Girl! You’re breathing this place in, aren’t you? The smell of the air, it revitalizes you and excites you, doesn’t it!” Smiling, she nodded her head. I gasped and sputtered, “You have an industrial fetish!” And of course she was busted and admitted to it all right there and we laughed like crazy.

Now, as a result of that experience, I had to admit that I have my own secret love hidden away for something completely different. (Because… don’t tell anyone, okay? But here’s a little secret of mine…..I’m not actually allowed to have anything to do with tools and such. I tend to um….break things or blow things up. But shh! It’s our little secret, okay?) Anyway, I should thank Painter Girl for opening my eyes to the intensity of that passion she showed for her hardware goods. Because now I’m aware that I have an intense sensual awareness of something too. You know what it is. I shouldn’t have to tell you. But I will….in a bit.

It’s a funny thing, the things we take a liking to. Pastries, wirings, photography, sculpting, fishing, and all of the other varieties of random human interests. The interesting thing about it is that they all give off something….a sensory something-or-other. Think about it. If you’ve had experience with fishing, you certainly know the smells of bait and the sharp feel of a hook. Wires have that cold glossy feel to them, winding around your hands and fingers just waiting to be shaped and molded or connected to something useful or beautiful or to stick the bejeezus out of you! The feel of dough in hand is altogether different from the feel of clay. It has the smell of butter and the warm feeling of home and family that give us anticipation of what yumminess it will become. The smells of chemicals in developing photography film is unique as well (Yes, people still use real film.). Even the tactile feel of a computer keyboard is particular to some. We are all vastly different one from another and our likes are just as diversified.

So I have to ask you, what is it that takes your breath away when you encounter it? Is it painting or driving through the mountains or digging in the soil of the earth? What of shopping or looking up into the night sky at the vast landscape of twinkling lights, or seeing the neon colors of the ocean’s underworld? Anything can be the thing we take the most pleasure in in life. But what that pleasure is exposes something about our character, our soul, our essence. It’s what we love and appreciate and it’s a look at a part of our true identity.

So I’ll let you in on my own senses-aware-hankering. Like I said, you already know what it is. I promise it won’t come as a surprise. You might even have this one too. But as I walk into a book store or stationer’s shop, I, like my friend Painter Girl, will take in a deep breath to infuse my soul with that thing that inspires me and makes me feel good. It happens in libraries and office supply stores too. It is paper. I love the smell of it. I love the feel of it. I love its sound as it brushes against the tips of my fingers when I turn through a book. And oh how I love the many different patterns and designs it can be shaped into, whether handmade or machine generated, glossy or newsprint, catalogs or paperback novels. I love paper and everything about it.

So what makes you want to breathe in deeply and experience the full range of your senses? Is it food or art supplies, perhaps lace or woolen hats, or even the hay in a barn? Tell me, what do you find that tickles your fancy?

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Numbers are Everywhere

As a writer I tend to focus on words.  How they sound, what they mean and the beauty of a well crafted sentence, especially if it has the graceful flow of alliteration in it.  I love words.  I always have.  Just ask my mother.  She once said that she couldn't wait for me to talk but then she wished I would be quiet.  She was not the last person to think that about me!
So imagine my surprise to realize that my life right now is being driven by numbers.  I have two days until Spring Break then I have six days until my students begin taking standardized tests.  I need them to ALL score 80 % or higher.  Then we have four weeks until summer vacation. 

Pantster and I are working hard to get a revised book completed. It is 348 pages long.  So I ask myself how many pages can I read by Monday when she and I work together.  We are probably going to work on breaking it into three parts so I think about how many pages will end up in each section. I also need to do some research related to completing the work so I wonder when I will get to that and how many hours it will take? I am really excited about getting to both of these so there is yet another reason to be counting down the hours until Spring Break. 
It is like my head is just a jumble of numbers.  It seems that the numbers won't fall into line as easily as the words usually do for me.  Maybe if I had one of Kathy's Sleep Number beds it would go better for me.

I know we usually are talking about words, but what kinds of numbers do you have running around in your head today?

Wednesday, March 21, 2012


Surfing the Web is one way that I am constantly avoiding what I really need to be doing. I didn’t used to be a procrastinator but lately it just seems easier to delay cleaning out the fish pond by reading about the latest on TMZ. While surfing one day I found another article by Dr. Robert Leahy about,you guessed it, PROCRASTINATION. I am guilty of it in all phases of my life, including my writing.

Dr. Leahy said that there are certain ways of dealing with procrastination to make you less likely to do it. First, you must focus on a specific task. Thinking about all the things you have to be doing allows you to put them all off. Choose a specific task then set a specific time to accomplish it. Don’t say, “I’ll get to it tomorrow or next week.” Pick an exact time to do it and make an appointment with the task. Then he said that you must list the advantages and disadvantages of doing the task. The disadvantages include not wanting to do it, having something else to do that is more fun, or simply not having the time to do it. The advantages would be that you accomplished something or that, by doing the task, you will benefit in the long run, i.e. exercise (the results are not immediate but eventually you will be in better shape and feel better). Once you weigh the advantages versus the disadvantages you will probably come to the conclusion that you are simply avoiding it and not realizing the benefits of accomplishing your goals.

Practicing “constructive discomfort” is also something you must do to overcome procrastination. Dr. Leahy said that most procrastinators over-estimate the discomfort of doing a task. He said to look at the task and rate it from 0-10 in discomfort level – one being tight shoes and 10 being “water-boarding.” The procrastinator will usually over-estimate the discomfort level. Write down the level and then proceed to do the task. He said that most will realize that the task was not that bad. You have been dreading something that didn’t carry the discomfort you thought it would. That is called practicing “constructive discomfort.” This is empowering yourself to see passed the discomfort to acknowledge the feeling of accomplishment you receive for completing the task.

The one thing that I saw in his article was what we writers already know: we must practice successful imperfection. We must make progress and not perfection. Doing something positive every day moves you toward the goal that you are seeking. If you write a little every day eventually that book will be written. Dr. Leahy said that procrastinators are closet perfectionists who want to make everything perfect yet know that they cannot be perfect. The procrastinator will then say so why bother? No one is perfect and no performance of any task can be perfect. But if we strive every day to accomplish a small goal, we are practicing successful imperfection.

Finally, the part I really liked: REWARD yourself. If you accomplish a goal or complete a task, you get a reward for doing it. Do something that you want to do and give yourself a pat on the back for completing what you set out to do. So everyday, if you write your goal, give yourself a reward like reading the latest Blaze or maybe taking a hot soak in the tub. Little rewards give you something to look forward to.

I hope this helps those of you that put off those really bad jobs. Dr. Leahy’s approach gives you a pattern to follow in overcoming procrastination. I know I am guilty of always finding something else to do when the job is boring or hard. Now I can make my little list and see that I have been dreading doing the task for nothing.

Do you procrastinate? About what? How do you avoid the evil of putting things off?

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Time and Sleep Number Beds

Last week, LTC and I took our youngest daughter to visit youngest son in North Carolina (Army), as well as her fiancee (Marine). Oh! How wonderful it was getting to spend a week with two of my kids and get to see our servicemen and women in action. (We spent three of those days along the NC beach in a great little cabin, while watching Osprey's land and take off and listening to gunfire on the range. All brought back memories for LTC and I about our military past.)

But, all good things must end. At the end of every vacation, the real world of work and house cleaning beckons. And so we were forced to say goodbye to the boys and return home. Youngest daughter returned to school and life has now resumed its normal schedule, or has it?

My first day back at work, I had to help work inventory at our sister store in town. A four a.m. wake-up call and nearly nine hour work day later, I'm exhausted and wishing for that lovely little cabin on the beach.

This got me to pondering as I tend to do, especially when I'm tired. (Oh no! the chorus sings.)

Life is like layers of a Sleep Number Bed.

What if you could manage time like you can a sleep number bed? I know. I know. This sounds crazy, but go with it. What if you could select the setting for your day every morning? You'd have time to manage your needs, fulfill your workday obligations, eat, mingle with friends, shop for groceries or whatever is on your list, enjoy a cup of hot tea and scones, read, write, exercise, and so on. The number you select would ensure that all these needs were met, just as the bed contorts to your body shape to enable you to sleep.

What if you could select how rested you are or if you were going to have a uber happy day? What if you could select whether or not you'd get The Call that day? Or win that contest?

What if you could adjust your day so that you weren't confined by a 24 hour period? Would you choose a hard mattress like Papa Bear uses of work, productivity and more work? Or would you choose Mama Bear's mattress of luxurious, featherlight fun? Or would Baby Bear's mattress provide a mix of everything just right?

The most wonderful thing about Sleep Number Beds is the ability to adjust a mattress to fit your needs. What if we could bend time to our will? And if we could, how would we all deal with time collectively when everyone is getting what they want from their list?

Oh, this has really got me thinking today because I haven't been able to write for over a week and I'm really feeling the bite of me, myself and I against time right now. I want to be more productive, but I'm tired. I want to be more successful, but I have to wait my turn. I want. I want. I want. Blah! Blah! Blah! Wouldn't it be easier to click a number or be this undead monkey? He seems to enjoy his mattress of time.

If life were a Sleep Number Bed, what would you do with your time?

Monday, March 19, 2012

Nothing Left to Give

Do you ever have a time when you absolutely have nothing left to give?

That's me today. I am all out. I should not be writing a caption on a photograph today, much less a blog because I don't have any words that are worth much right now.

Oldest Friend's mother died last week. She was a great lady and it was very sad. I moved in for a couple of days. The Guy was out of town on business, in my car. I killed the Miata. We lost power one night for a long time. Before we went to bed, I said, "Oldest Friend, if we don't have power in the morning we are going to have to take that funeral food over to my house. We can't let it go bad." And we had a lot of funeral food. Barbecue, shrimp and grits, turkey, strawberry pretzel salad, chocolate pie, potato salad, slaw. And that's not the half of it.

There were flowers, phone calls, people at the door, and more food.

At the cemetery, the minister (the same one who married me twenty three years ago yesterday) approached our little posse.

"What good friends you all are," she said and she asked how we had all met and how long we had been friends. I was shocked when I realized the the longevity of our relationships.

Every since, the words from a county song my Tracy Lawrence have been running through my mind:

Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who your friends are.

Oldest Friend had a lot to find out.

Enjoy the video. I'll be more entertaining next week.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Stumbling, Flawlessly Flawed....

I occasionally find myself bored to tears and end up stumbling online. I land at Stumbleupon, that is… www.stumbleupon.com . And honestly, most times it’s tickle-my-fancy-time just to get away from the demands of life at the moment.

A while back I came across this particular stumble and found it so fascinating that I emailed it to myself. I read it often, and always with amazement! See for yourself…it's all about loving someone, flaws and all. http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1fiqXh/thoughtcatalog.com/2011/i-like-your-flaws/

What I really like about this poem is the stark reality of it. It speaks truth unrefined and tells it like it is in a very loving way. I mean, we all have foibles and stammerings of some sort or another, right? I know I do! And what better thing to hear than someone loving your own flavor of nuances?

My biggest flaw by far (at least according to my honey) can be blamed on my shapely figure. See, I can’t be trusted to go to dinner without spilling something right there. You know where. It’s like there’s a food magnet imbedded in my body that attracts every sort of sauce or topping. Sigh. Tide To Go was developed just for me, I’m certain!

Want another? I have absolutely no preference whatsoever as to what end of a package I open. It drives my honey insane! It matters nothing to me that one end might have that fancy little hookey thing cut into the cardboard or not. I just want the darn thing open. So if it’s upside down, what do I care? I knew it was graham crackers before I opened it and I’ll know it the next time I grab the box too, upside down or not.

We’re on a roll now. I also have hair that has a mind of its own. Maybe Sunshine (my hairstylist…no, really…her name is Sunshine) thinks it should do something to her liking, but I assure you, once I’ve left her chair and slept on that hair, it will never again do whatever she envisioned it to do. And Yes, I may have a tuft or two burnt off if I use that ridiculous hair straightener. Why do I need that contraption anyway? My hair is so strait it laughs at me when I curl it! And all of these reasons are why I still wear my hair pretty much the same way I did in high school. It’s so sad. But true, drats!

And oh boy! Can I ever stick my foot in my mouth. I’m really, REALLY good at it! No. Let’s don’t put it to the test right now, okay? It’s usually a result of being caught off guard. See, I can clam up instantaneously if you catch me unawares. I wish you could see what’s really going on inside my brain. Talk about stumbling! It comes to a stop and does this variation on the backstroke no swimmer could ever attempt. Then it fumbles around like a fish out of water, wondering in total panic, what the hell should I do now? I don’t have the plans for this conversation! Help, I scream inside!

So, flaws. Yes, I have them. Many more than I could mention. And I suppose my favorite is the smattering of freckles over the bridge of my nose. Why do I like them? Because big sister Dr M. used to lure me to sleep by counting them while we floated in the air on Uncle M’s porch swing. How can you not love a flaw like that?

So, are you flawed too? Do you drive your family and friends batty with the silly things you do? Do you carry a spare blouse in your bag or convince yourself that floral camouflage is in fashion? How do you stumble when you stumble?