Okay, Listen Here

Okay, Listen Here

Monday, January 30, 2012

Oh, No You Didn't!

I am a hypocrite. I try not to be, but doesn't everyone? No one gets up in the morning and says, "Boy, I have got to have a break from being non-hypocritical. I am going to give myself permission to be as hypocritical as I want this weekend. I'll get right back on the non-hypocritical program first thing Monday morning."

There are two things in particular that I am a little ashamed of. It's only a little because I don't break the law and I'm polite in my hypocrisy—though I am thankful people can't hear what's going on in my head. You should all be thankful too. It's not always unicorns and lemon icebox pie in there.


First, there's that YouTube Business. I don't like for people to make me watch YouTube videos. I especially don't like to have a cell phone shoved in my face, as someone says, "Watch this! It's so funny!" Then inevitably, I've got to watch a baby dancing or a dog dressed up like a clown.

Yet, I do it to other people. All the time. Not the cell phone part. If you know anything about me, you know I don't have a smart phone.

I do, however, have a tablet. Better still, my big football watching TV has the ability to broadcast YouTube. If you are in my upstairs sitting room, you are at my mercy. I know I should not do this, especially given my aversion to watching lizards molt to the tune something by Pink Floyd. I suppose, in those moments, I think I am The One who should be in charge of choosing entertainment for the world at large.

I want EVERYBODY to watch:

I deserve to be ashamed. You will notice that I have given you the links. I could not stop myself.

The second thing in my Hypocrisy Hall of Fame: I dislike overused phrases only a little less than watching (on a cell phone) a groom split his pants as he kneels at the altar. But I am guilty, guilty, guilty. I am not going to enumerate the phrases I dislike, since this is confession day.

These are things I say over and over and over again to the tenth degree and beyond:

  • "At the end of day. . . "
  • "I see no future in trying to rise above it."
  • "I'll tell you this for nothing."
  • "I thought my head was going to leave my body."
  • "Oh my dear God in heaven."
  • "It's okay with me if it's okay with her."
  • "He doesn’t know whether to s**t or go blind.

Yeah. I am especially proud of that last one—yet it rolls off my tongue on a regular basis.

Is there anything you are hypocritical about? What overused phrase do you dislike? YouTube? Love or hate it?


  1. Your cousin did very well! I could care less about the rest. Well, maybe the P&G one with Olympic moms (I think I remember it). But thanks for offering.

    I'm sure I have trite phrases I use but they elude me at the moment. I'll remember when I take my shower in a bit.


  2. I have many trite phrases, especially here at school.
    I love youtube!! I may watch Marcel Darius' touchdown right now! I love that play!!

    Thanks for sharing these fine youtube moments with us!

  3. Ho ho! Jean us in good form today. ;)

    I don't watch You Tube unless someone tells me too. The best one was about the Bronte Sisters as action dolls fighting against the injustice of publishers not accepting manuscripts from women. Priceless. When I get home I'll post the link.

    I always wonder where people find all those neat links and post them on Facebook. I just don't have time to hunt those down.

    1. I LOVE the Mayhem commercials!!!

      I'm terribly guilty about making everyone watch the cute giant hamsters that dance and drive cars.

  4. YouTube....? I'm with you on that shove-the-must-see-video-in-the-face routine. Hate it. It's a sure way to get me to say no to you. However, I LOVE YouTube's ability to show me the music I love, even video clips I never knew existed. I wonder if Hoagy Carmichael would've made more videos if he'd known his music would be on YouTube? Being the TV avoider that I am, I have no idea what any of that other stuff is that's listed up above. Sorry, Jean. You can entertain me with it on the big screen someday! Tehe...

    As for phrases, when I eat something I like, invariably the phrase "That's good sh*t" comes directly out of my mouth. I have no idea where it came from. It's pretty much a cause and effect action at this point. Feel praised if ever you hear me say it, I guess? And if you don't, it's likely I feel I should be on my best behavior and I'm working REALLY hard at letting my southern grace shine! :)

  5. I like YouTube, especially the animal videos. Sorry but I have been known to roll in the floor, tears streaming down my face and laughing at some of the animal clips. I promise to never shove one in your face Jean. I realize it's a sickness to sit and watch those things.

    My phrase is "Does that make sense?" when I am explaining something to a person. I have to deal with so many people who don't listen and I say this to get their attention. Now it's become a habit. I only realized lately that I do this when I caught myself doing it to a doctor. Oh well, a lot of times even doctors don't listen.

  6. Thanks for stopping by, everyone. I will answer you all tomorrow. I have been sick with a stomach virus and slept all afternoon. Feeling better. Ate some grits.