Last week, after I expounded on movie theater behavior, Beverly remarked that she longed for a return to common courtesy. I am with her and I've been thinking about it all week.
1. If your food isn't to your liking in a restaurant, quietly and discreetly send it back. If you gripe throughout the meal, you ruin everyone's good time.
2. For the love of God, please understand that no one, apart from a health care professional, wants to hear about the body functions of yourself, your child, or your animals.
3. Don't talk about a party or outing you were invited to in front of people who were not. It is beyond rude.
4. Do not tell half a story and refuse to finish it because you were asked not to tell. Just keep your mouth shut in the first place. It's clear you want everyone to know that you know something they don't and you shouldn't have been trusted in the first place.
5. When you text and answer your phone in polite company, you are saying, "I'd rather be somewhere else with someone else." You should just go there.
6. When a casual friend asks after your children, keep it short. As in, "She is doing well. She just got a cheerleading scholarship to LSU and we are all very excited." A little information is fine but unless you are talking to a relative, very close friend, godparent, or news reporter, chances are excellent that they don't care about batting averages, ACT scores, progress on potty training, colors of prom dresses, or the number of times Hunter and Mary Paul threw up last night.
7. Do not name drop for professional purposes unless you have been granted permission by the person who owns the name.
8. Do not name drop socially for any reason.
9. Don't double dip. That shouldn't have to be said.
This doesn't begin to cover it, of course. What social sin sets your teeth on edge?
I can't wait to find out, but I'll probably have to. By the time you read this, the Virgina cousins will be here. My job tomorrow is to be witty, hospitable, and serve good food. I'll check in with you when I can.