Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Psychedelic Dresses - a 70"s Flashback
Dresses. Have you looked at them lately? I feel like I am having a Sixties/Seventies flashback and it’s not a good trip. I started looking for a dress for the Heart of Dixie Luncheon set for April 30th. I thought, what with my new weight loss and new hairstyle (thanks Maven Linda), I could pull off wearing one of those cute new spring dresses I keep seeing on television. Girded for battle, I started shopping.
The first thing I noticed upon walking into the department store was the harsh kaleidoscope of colors – brown with pinks, orange with pink, chartreuse (no one looks good in this so why even try to pawn it off on us?) – My Gosh who did this? Have they never heard of the Color Wheel? Somebody obviously forgot you cannot combine Spring with Summer colors. A definite disaster.
I courageously went forward. I WANTED to wear a dress to the HOD luncheon. I plowed ahead, fingers swiping through racks, looking and rejecting each. Too old, too young. I kept thinking of the saying from “Fried Green Tomatoes”: I’m too old to be young and too young to be old. I quickly decided to go to the designer section. Surely the designers would be more circumspect and make a lovely dress for someone my age. WRONG. I was met with the same color explosions or old lady chiffon. Where were the cute dresses?
I went to another store and found a few that I thought I might could pull off. I chose what I thought would be my new size, draped some dresses across my arm and then headed for the dressing rooms. I hung them up, ruefully eyeing my choices. I plucked the first one from the dressing room hook and tried to get it on. Yes, tried, there was no zipper. Okay, so it slipped over the head. I struggled and finally got it on. My Gosh, what was I thinking? The view look like sausage stuffed in a casing! I HAD lost weight so what was this? Best to get out of this nightmare. Or so I thought. Have you ever been stuck in a $250.00 dress in a department store and can’t get out of it? I pulled; I struggled until finally I managed to get the dad-blasted thing off. I got dressed and picked all the dresses up, intending on going out to find a LARGER size. As I was walking out of the dressing room, I noticed a girl about my height and a good sixty pounds heavier telling her mom that she needed a smaller size – two sizes smaller than the one I just tried on. I started to say “Good Luck with that” but figured I didn’t want to be found dead in the dressing room when the store closed. She was a lot bigger than me…
I went from store to store, searching, trying on dresses, rejecting dresses, and getting depressed. Finally I gave up. Leaving the last store, I saw a lovely jacket, shell and pants, all lined up for me. Guess I’ll be wearing pants again this year…
Do you feel like all the designers think we want to dress like we were twenty? Maybe some of you ladies out there are closer to twenty but for those of us who don’t want to be like “bless her heart” Aunt Mary wearing a mini dress what are we to do? So, tell me, are there any places that have chic dresses that aren’t made for teenagers? Tell me about your latest shopping expedition and what you found (probably peasant blouses, halter dresses, and psychedelic colors – flashback anyone?)