Okay, Listen Here

Okay, Listen Here

Monday, June 4, 2012

Rules for Attending Graduations


Grad Boy
Precious Angel graduated from high school last Friday night. I bet you think I am going to go all sloppy about pride, accomplishment, and how it was only last week I was buckling him in a stroller.

Yeah. I could do that. But it's been done, at least in my head. And though I stand by my philosophy that a blog is the ultimate ego trip and I can, therefore, hold forth on any subject of my liking, I do want you to keep coming back  And let's face it. I've already made clear on numerous occasions how great PA is, and you really don't care.

So. . . . I am going to share my rules for attending graduations. One could argue that this might have been more useful before the ceremonies got cranked up, but I didn't have any rules before witnessing what I did last Friday at Ogle Stadium in Decatur, Alabama. I only had common sense. I continue to assume, wrongly, that everyone else does.

I would also point out that this particular ceremony was only an hour long. Not bad for 230 graduates, with all the usual speeches.
  • I know that usually the speeches do not set the world on fire, but that's somebody's kids up there doing the best they can. Shut up.
  • Do not bring an air horn. If you must, do not make use of it when your grad's name is called.
  • Do not bring a cow bell. If you must, do not make use of it when your grad's name is called. 
  • Do not bring a cooler full of beer. Come to think of it, don't bring a cooler full of anything. 
  • Do not hoot and holler. Golf claps, ladies and gentlemen. I know you are proud, but they are moving those kids through there quickly. If you are bellowing to the top of you lungs, chances are excellent that you will drown out the next grad's name. That's not fair.
  • Dress appropriately. I admit, I wore pants, which I would not have done had we not been outside on bleachers. But even at that, my pants were linen and part of a matched outfit that is appropriate for Sunday morning church. No shorts. No shirts that talk, No baseball caps. Please.
  • Above all else, do NOT leave as soon as your grad's name is called. If there is a wrestling match you've got to get to or you are meeting with a talent scout from the Jerry Springer show, just don't come to graduation. I don't understand this. Not only is it rude, but if you care enough to come, why would you not want to stick around to say congratulations and take a picture?
  • When the principal says, "Please keep your seats until the graduates file out," it does not mean make a mad rush for the exit.
Have you seen any behavior at an important ceremony that made you cringe?

19 comments:

  1. My son was salutatorian of his class. He worked very hard to get to that point. He took care in writing his speech. He tried to make sure it was not too long, not too dry and that there were a couple of giggles along the way. As stated in the blog - he did the best he could. We got to the ceremony early to get a good seat. It was held in a church, and the organizers had requested that a pew remain empty between the graduates and the audience. About 15 minutes into the ceremony a family with two young children came in and proceeded to park themselves in the empty reserved row. The children were allowed to run up and down the aisle during the ceremony. She took out her phone and made a call. Just as I was about to say something, she hung up. The kids were still running up and down the aisle. Then, just as my son got up to speak, the woman took out her cell phone and made another call. By that point I was steaming. Luckily, my son's Godmother got to her before I could and told her to hang up the phone.

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    1. Which only goes to prove that not everyone should be allowed a cell phone. Good for Godmother.

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  2. I like your rules, Jean. I too wash shocked at the graduation ceremony behavior I witnessed locally. It was an evening ceremony, I wore my little black dress. Sitting next to me? Flip flops, jogging shorts and a t-shirt wearing, fog-horn toting family member of one of the graduates. Thankfully, I can say it's not us being old...Clair was with me wearing her own little black dress (her choice, not mine). We rolled our eyes together at the insanity of it all.

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  3. Fog horns??? Cow bells??? Seriously? Wtf is wrong with people!!!! I think maybe the schools need to have a security line, like airports - only this is to weed out noisemakers and coolers. You cant prevent tacky attire, but you can sure stop the noise.

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    1. That's the job for me. If I don't sell soon I am going to apply for a job in Manners Security. Look out.

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  4. Wow! I just don't really know what to say to this. I haven't been to a graduation in a few years. It seems like some things may have changed. I remember some hollering and some tacky dresses on grandmothers but don't remember anyone taking calls during the ceremony.

    Wow!

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  5. I've been through 7 graduations in the past 15 years and all of them have had those very same thing occur. It's just the way of things, I guess. Just like angry people say, "There will be blood." There will be "idiots without consideration for someone else's child."

    It used to be that the students graduating were the ones performing hyjinks. I can remember my 568 student graduating class (which does not count the kids who didn't), and being in the 2nd to last row, caught between boys who were pulling said hyjinks. Embarrassing to say the least, but quite funny!

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  6. I'm all for the school setting dress codes and sticking to it. You wear flip-flops and shorts to an inside graduation? You won't get in. But you know what? Until people start speaking up, the way they used to, the offenders will go on thinking it's okay.

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  7. You know, this stuff used to bother me, but then I realized that for some of those people, this is the best their life is ever going to get. If they want to whoop and holler and be idiots in their moment, okay. I know I've got higher mountains to climb where their tacky behinds won't be there to ruin it. "Enjoy your life peaking at 18, y'all!"

    Is that ugly of me?

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    1. You just said what we all thought. :D

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  8. I watched the same thing at my son's high school graduation but college, well, that was a different story. I had on a nice dress for an afternoon graduation and there were people there with evening clothes on - go figure.

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    1. Maybe they were going dancing later? Maybe they had no sense? I'd rather be under-dressed than overdressed.

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  9. Wow, we are a redneck state, what can we say?
    But seriously, I probably committed a faux pas at my own darling daughter's graduation last week--GRADUATION FROM MIDDLE SCHOOL, FOR PETE'S SAKE!--when I turned around and said to the parents behind me, "If I ever become President of the United States there will be no graduating from 8th grade, no graduating from Kindergarten, and no graduating from Preschool! There will only be high school and college graduations. There will be a new law enacted."

    Just sayin'. But I do agree with you, Jean. People need to grow some common sense. Or at least check their foghorns at the door. Actually, I saw the most horribly indecent outfit at the 8TH GRADE GRADUATION. Truly disgusting. She shouldn't have been let inside the building. The principal was distracted or he would have turned her away, I'm sure. I mean, there were children present, for Pete's sake.

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    1. Oh, Melanie, I so agree. A milestone should be a real milestone. I see it sort of like people renewing their wedding vows. I see no need. I meant the first time.

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