Okay, Listen Here

Okay, Listen Here

Friday, May 4, 2012

Relationships Anonymous


Hello my name is Lesia and I'm a Relationship-aholic.  I’m guessing it goes way back to my childhood.  Freud would probably say it’s all my Daddy’s fault and the way he treated my Momma.  But I do love me some relationship details.   Of course, having been in the library business, studying relationship statistics for me is like three fingers of Scotch is to Ron White.  Can’t go on stage without it!

And I got to thinking about this because sitting on my desk is the usual array of current (and not so current—I’m way behind here) romance titles as well as a full buffet of relationship self-help books and sex how-tos..   I don’t know why they appeal to me so.  But they do.  And there’s secular help as well as Christian help.  One of my favorites is Dr Gottman’s Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work as well as Kevin Leman’s Sheet Music which I recently dug out of the stacks.  I’ve also got the Kama Sutra, but then everyone has that, right?  It’s like the Bible.   And the Joy of Sex, because it would be the New International Version!  And then there’s the Naked Ape, can’t forget that one.   And Gary Chapman has that whole lineup of Five Languages going on.  I’ve got that too.  Ok.  I have a plethora of these things!  Like I said ….Relationship-aholic!  

I also have a want list of new titles….The Jane Austin Guide to Happily Ever After by Elizabeth Kantor; Maybe He's Just an A-hole, a “provocative new dating guide” by Halle Kaye;  and the soon to be released Chicken Soup for the Soul:  Happily Ever After by Jack Canfield and others.  Oh!  And there’s this other book, it eludes me….no really it does!  I saw it on the shelf at Barnes and Noble several years ago, decided to wait a day or two to buy it (I am reasonable, after all) and poof it was gone.  Not from the shelf necessarily, but the recall to its title completely evacuated my brain!  All I remember is it told of a miniskirt nightmare date…the climbing up into one of those over-sized macho trucks that needs a ladder and what the guy visually got for his efforts from the minute the date started.  I so wish I could find that book!  It was hilarious….I think.  : /

So if I was 21 again and knew what I know now, I think this would be a monumental clue that I should major in Women’s Studies or Anthropology or maybe even Sexology or Psychology.   I guess it makes sense that I’d write about relationships.  But that’s not the reason why I decided to write stories of romantic whimsy.  

I hear other writers talk about how they write because they have to get the characters out of their head.  And I get that… really, I do.  But for me, it’s how many ways can human interaction come out on the paper and make a compelling example of all that relationship goo inside my head?  And goo it is, because I’ve got to tell ya…..there’s some wild and wacky stuff inside my relationship-head!   


And now you know my habit.  I’m not so anonymous after all.  So do tell….do you haunt the internet and bookstores looking for the latest Mars and Venus?   Do you suffer from ORD, Obsessive Relationship Disorder? Are you a sucker for Happily Ever After?


10 comments:

  1. Huh? You read how to books for pleasure? I need to talk to you. Soon.

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    1. Yep. I'm a how-to junkie! I know my limits, though. I don't think there's a book out there that can teach me how to wire something without blowing it up in the end. I tried. It didn't work.

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  2. I can relate to this, Lesia. I used to read the pop psychology books all the time, how to be emotionally healthy, stuff like that. Then after I got married, I read books about how to have a happy marriage. Lately, since I got a new Kindle, I've been downloading relationship books again.

    I hadn't thought about it this way before, but my favorite thing about writing romance novels is the relationship between my hero and heroine, how it develops and grows, how they suit each other perfectly and interact with each other. I just started a new novel last night, and I am already concentrating on the dynamic between the hero and heroine, how their personalities fit--or clash with each other. That is the best part, and if I can get that part right, the rest will work out.

    Fun topic!

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  3. And I forgot to say, I love Happily Ever After. It has to end happily or I'm frustrated and mad! In fact, I'd love to read a story about a married couple on the brink of divorce, who really don't suit each other at all, but end up working things out so that at the end, it is a definite Happily Ever After. That could be fun and even funny, if done right. But might be a hard sell.

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  4. Yes, Melanie! That's it exactly! It's like junk food....I can't seem to get enough of it! lol

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    1. Oh and about that married couple on the brink....I've thought about that....may have to write it, too. And you're right, it would have to be show-stopping funny or it wouldn't be a good read.

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  5. Well I guess I just have to comment here, maybe because I think I have wisdom of the ages! Now that is funny! I too was one of those junkies, but not so much any more as I think I have to really retain all and I know that ain't just gonna happen.......and why anyway at this age, coming up to 71......I think I have come to the conclusion it is not so much what works but what I would put up with from a relationship now that I am wiser and worn......Now don't think I wouldn't welcome a well worn loving man in my life, I would and I would give him a run for his money too. Most importantly, it would have to be sweet, life is too short for drama of the negative sort. Maybe too, I have come to realize what I too deserve, not just what I can give to another without reciprocation. This is true I think in all relationships whether they be your bed mate or not. You all keep writing the romance novels, I will read them for sure. I believe happily ever after should be the only way there is, involving love where each other respect and admire the other for all the special qualities and the not so special fall by the way side because they become not that important. I know, I am windy for an old gal. Keep hanging in there girls, enjoy your lives, do the most to keep joy and love in your hearts and may you receive what you desire!

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    1. Well said, Billie. And thanks for joining us under the tulip tree. It's really nice to have you here...it's a good place to get windy! <3

      As for being 71, well I guess I'm of the opinion that the heart doesn't recognize age. Mine still thinks I'm in puberty! :D So keep looking for Mr Wonderful...and we'll keep writing about him, too.

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  6. Whoa...I never knew you were a closet psychologist too! What fun! I enjoy reading the same books. Maybe we can exchange books sometimes. And as for wiring something - we can learn together at the bomb range.

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    1. Oh..oh..oh! Cheryl! When? Where? Tehe.....

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