Wednesday, April 11, 2012
A British woman living in France caused a major brouhaha with her column about how women hate her because she’s beautiful. I nearly choked myself to keep from laughing when I read the column. It seems Samantha Brick has endured trials and tribulations for her entire life just because she perceives herself as beautiful. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2124246/Samantha-Brick-downsides-looking-pretty-Why-women-hate-beautiful.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
In the column, Brick bemoans the fact that women snub her, ignore her and have even hurt her career simply because of her looks. The first thing I got from reading the article is that Brick seems overly concerned with other people’s perceptions about her looks. Secondly, to quote Barbara Walters, she just isn’t that good-looking. The storm over the article continued all last week, evoking responses from women all over the world. She was interviewed on a network morning show about the reactions and her response was that she didn’t intend to come off sounding so smug. It wasn’t what she had in mind when she wrote the article – she meant to point out that other people’s perceptions about looks can be hurtful. Sorry, but that isn’t what I got from her column. When I read it all I could hear was a boastful, vain woman who blamed other women when things didn’t go her way. She really laid into women who are older and “whose bloom is gone” for hating her (hmmm, could be why I didn’t like her). Oh, I know, she cited instances when women were outright rude to her but then, we didn’t really know how she was acting at the time either. I just thought the whole things was kind of silly. It did, however, bring her into the world’s spotlight.
After reading the article I got to thinking about perceptions. From what I have read, people who have a large ego require constant validation about themselves from others. People who are secure in themselves and don’t need outside validation have self-esteem. Ego is destructive; self-esteem promotes character. If you are secure in yourself, then you don’t need the approval of others. Here comes the ADD part – that got me to thinking about writing (I know, it’s a jump but then a spatial mind does that). If you are insecure about your writing, you constantly need validation from others about how great and wonderful you are. If you are secure about your writing, then you know inside when what you have written is good without other people telling you. So when the rejections start coming in or you get a bad review think about whether it’s you or your ego reacting to criticism. Yes, writing is something that seeks approval – an editor has to approve of what you have written in order for it to be published and then people have to buy it. But, not all things resonate with all people. Simply because one person doesn’t like your story doesn’t mean that it isn’t a good story or that it isn’t written well. It just means that you haven’t found the right market. I guess what I got out of all this is that you have to keep trying when you believe in yourself. Perceptions don’t always mean that others are right.
Have you heard of Samantha Brick? What did you think about her column? What is your take on the perceptions of others? Is it necessary to validate yourself? I know, being published is a form of validation, but if you’re constantly being rejected or criticized have you ever felt that the world is judging you unfairly? Just wondering…