Okay, Listen Here

Okay, Listen Here

Monday, July 9, 2012

I Have Changed My Mind--The Rules

I have never been one to change my mind about a lot of major things. Well, there was that wedding I canceled but that was a long time ago and, in the interest of trying not to change my mind, I let it rock on too long.

Anyway. I had the same major and minor all through college. My politics and religion have remained basically the same. I still like my husband and choice of kitchen counter tops better than any other.

This one time, when I was at Six Flag Over Georgia, I changed my mind about wanting to be on the Free Fall, though I am an adventurous rider of theme park rides. In fact, I screamed, "I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND," as it ascended into the air at what had to be a hundred miles an hour. Guess how much good changing my mind did me.

Two people who are very important to me changed their minds about something very major last week. And just so I am clear—these are two separate people, two separate life choices, two separate mind changings. Not a couple deciding to adopt a baby or get a divorce.

I have come up with some rules about mind changing. 

This is what they do not need:

  • I told you so.
  • Well, that was wasted time.
  • Boy, you have done it now. Do you realize what you have given up?

This is what they do need:

  • I am proud of you for making this hard choice.
  • If I can help, I will.
  • You will be fine.
  • You are not a failure or a quitter.
  • I love you
  • Have a drink.
  • Have some chocolate.
I can promise you I have no regrets about that wedding cancelation. I regret not doing it sooner. I regret that I did not find a way to be kinder about it. But, apparently, I was holding out for The Guy. It was a good choice. And my erstwhile fiancé has got to be better off without me. After all, I didn't want him. No one deserves that. Well, some might. But he didn't.

Are you a mind changer?


  1. I probably should change my mind more often. LOL! I have a hard time making up my mind, but I can't remember too many times where I changed my mind after I finally made up my mind. When I have trouble making up my mind, when I'm being smart, I ask God for insight. He's a good mind changer when you need a good change of mind!

    Right now I'm in the middle of a dilemma, something to do with my writing. It may all work itself out. But at the present time, I'm wondering if I'm about to change my mind about a couple of things. Right now I am waiting on the Lord, and ruminating. We shall see.

    And Jean, I am quite sure you did the right thing when you changed your mind about that wedding!!! Even though I don't know the circumstances. But I can't imagine you with anyone else but The Guy.

    And I'm dying of curiosity about what you changed your mind about, so if you want to tell me, I won't object.

  2. As a general rule I am not much of a mind changer. Like Melanie I tend to think about all the options before I make a decision.

    But I will say that sometimes you just have to change your mind and when you do it is great if your friends can follow these rules!

  3. Well, on the big things, no. I pretty much hold to my choices on the big things unless I find there's just no hope. Then I'll regroup and change. But on the little stuff? Honey, I'm all over the map. Shiny things are all around! :D

  4. Heart breaker, soul shakerJuly 9, 2012 at 8:22 PM

    Well, i broke up with a boy in college because he was too nice. Now, 17 years later we are back together... nice is now a good thing. I think growth and prayer (whether short term or long term) contributes to change.

  5. Well, I had a great response and blogger deleted it. Grrr!

    I changed my major all through my freshman and sophomore years in college. Why? Well, I had these ideas of what I wanted to be but when I took the classes, I decided I didn't like it.

    I think we should be open to change and flexible enough to allow ourselves a chance to experience something else when it comes along. There's nothing wrong with changing your mind. I would rather know with certainty what I wanted to do, than do something I hated and wishing I'd had the kahoonas to do something about it when I had the chance.

    Live life! Accept new experiences. Go with the flow. With each new experience another opportunity reveals itself. Just look at perennials growing in the garden. Some return in the same spot, year after year. Others return, but they've moved elsewhere. Perhaps where their petals can better enjoy the sun.

    Life is to be lived, experienced, tasted and loved. The choices we make are not a reflection of us, but a reflection of how we experience the world around us.

    Of course, I said this better in the first version. Gah! Hugs, Jean!!

  6. Hey all. I am sorry I have not replied. I've been a little under the weather.

    I am repeating, "Change is good. Change is good. Change is good."