I recently saw a teapot that depicted Santa Claus riding a chicken. Considering how much it cost, I am sure it must have been art but I did not understand it. I've spent a lot of energy wondering about this chicken-turned-steed and its jolly old rider. Is Santa a teeny tiny man on scale with a chicken? If so, how does he carry all the Ultimate Buzz Lightyears and Halo games? Or is Santa normal sized (bell ringing beside the Salvation Army pot variety) and is the chicken super sized to accommodate him? If so, I do not want to meet it. Some of you may remember my blog about how creepy I think giant insects are, so you can just imagine my opinion of a giant chicken. If Santa has got to ride something other than a sleigh, what's wrong with a reindeer? I know reindeer are not really for riding but it's not like chickens are either. And the most important question of all: Did some teapot designer just get up one morning and say, "I'm gonna whip me up a chicken with Santa on its back. It will do wonders for the Earl Grey."?
It's a mystery. Much in life is. I'm going to segue now. Stick with me, here. It will make sense—or at least as much sense as Santa Claus riding a chicken.
I am happy to report that Stephanie and I have all our requested submissions signed, sealed, and delivered. That means we can work on the story that is whipping around in our heads. While the story is not a football story, the hero is a football coach so some football terminology comes into play. I have begun to wonder if non-football fans will understand the terminology. I think it's possible they will. I don't dance ballet but up know the meaning of barre, plie, and pointe—more or less, at least enough that I could read a book about dancers and not be lost. But I am worried that a reader might not understand our story, much like I cannot understand that blasted taxicab chicken and Mr. Claus.
So I'm going to ask for a little help here. Below is a list of football terms. If you don't follow football, tell us if you have a nodding acquaintance with them. You don't have to tell what they mean. It isn't a test. (If you do follow football, tell us the weirdest thing you've seen lately. Try to top that teapot.) There will be a prize.
First and ten
In the pocket