#RWA12 Mishaps Along The Way
If you ever wondered what qualifies me as a wacky writer,
look no further than the daily mishaps in my life. The RWA 2012 Conference is no exception. It provided a boatload of material to draw
from. I may never write like Hemingway,
but rest assured, I can entertain (and embarrass) myself like a pro! And hopefully you can laugh along with me,
too. So, without further adieu, my
mishaps along the way at #RWA12…
As the flight between Huntsville and Dallas Ft. Worth came
to a close, I was a bit disgruntled.
See, I was having a hard time concentrating on what Katherine Bone was saying to
me with the music playing in the background.
I mean, geeze! Couldn’t Whoever buy a clue that the pilot had
turned on the no electronics light? It
was really annoying hearing the music play loudly while trying to talk over the
already loud engines. And we were about
to land! The longer it went on, the more aggravated I
got. Until the stewardess came over and
asked Me to turn off the music. I said…”Wha…?” She knelt down next to my seat and said, “There’s
music coming from your pocket!” I was mortified! And
that’s how I learned that the “Airplane Mode” on my iPhone is not good enough for a plane ride.
One of the highlights of the week was Cinderella attending
the ball. Well, the Avon Party, at
least. RWA Librarian of the Year Mary Moore, Katherine Bone and I were transported
to Newport Beach for the prestigious Avon Party. We were decked out in our cocktail finery…little
black dresses and pearls. I had these
cute little black sandals on with black organdy roses on the straps. Upon our arrival at the restaurant, I slid
down the stairs of the bus and landed with my right shoe up around my
calf! Gasp! I could not
go into that party with my
shoe flapping! Big Authors were in there! No! I
just could not go in there barefooted, either! But the girls pulled me
along to the entrance where a light from heaven shown down around the hostess. She thankfully retrieved a tube of fingernail
glue from her purse (She must’ve been a Girl Scout!). We glued my shoe back together, and then my
foot stuck to the shoe, too! I was in good
shape until about twenty minutes before the party was over. The shoe gave way and by that time I’d had so
many smoky, bubbly, Lemon Drop Martinis that I just didn’t care anymore. And thus, Cinderella left the ball barefooted. It’s really a shame the hunky model “Mr.
Fireman” wasn’t my Prince! But I did get
his phone number…for an interview down the line, of course!
On the final evening in Anaheim, Katherine Bone and I high-tailed it
out of the RITA Awards to snag a table in the bar. We figured we’d text all our girlfriends to
join us after we got there. So we got a
table in the back corner that was big enough for about ten to twelve people and
the only person who joined us was Carla Swafford (because she loves to party with
us!). Anyway, before we knew it, Staci Weber and Sara Dailey showed up with their party and asked if they could share our table. Sure!
Why not? So we scootchied up tight when the Boroughs Authors along with Editor-in-Chief Christopher
Keeslar and CEO Michelle Klayman of Boroughs Publishing sat down with us to party all night long. And party we did! But guess what? I learned a very important lesson that night
sitting right in front of Mr. Keeslar.
When you’re short like me, wearing a very snug across the boobages
evening gown and stuck into that sunken groove of too-many-having-sat-there-before-you
in the banquette seating with feet dangling because they don’t reach the ground
to lever yourself with…tall martini glasses filled with Lemon Drop Martinis do not angle well over said boobages. In fact, they don’t angle at all! I believe either Carla or Mr. Keeslar
handed me a straw. Can you say Martini Conundrum? Perhaps that’s the reason Katherine learned her
napkin trick…because I really could’ve used an origami napkin bra.
Have you ever had an in-air mishap? Glued your foot to your shoe? What about a martini....ever sucked one back through a straw?
Have you ever had an in-air mishap? Glued your foot to your shoe? What about a martini....ever sucked one back through a straw?
