Friday, April 16, 2010
Life's A Beach--Or Not
I hate the beach. That was a bad way to start, as I have probably already alienated those of you who love to dig your toes in the sand, swim with sharks, and find that the ocean holds some magical property that soothes your soul. And I'm happy for you—really. I just don't find anything restful about sand in my bed and squawking seagulls. The only good thing about the beach is Beach Reads, which I have found you can, in fact, read without actually being at the beach.
Yet, I am going next month, with my book club. I'm sure you have no sympathy for me, nor should you. I gave into peer pressure, just as if I was fifteen and the head cheerleader was urging me to cut class with her. Come to think of it, Dr. Great Smile was not only a cheerleader, but homecoming queen, and it was she who whipped out her iPhone and started punching in dates and giving orders. Pretty soon, I had myself a trip to the beach all lined up. But I love Dr. Great Smile and all the other smart funny women in my book club. We've buried each others' dead, held hands through divorces, celebrated marriages, and been on hand for a thought-to-be early menopause that turned out to be named Sam.
They love the beach and I flatly refused to go last time they went. I knew, sooner or later, another proposed pilgrimage to the sand and sand fleas would come up. Oldest Friend is beside herself with joy that I am going. She is one of those who draws strength from the tranquility. Cutest Girl Alive has already warned us that she has a date every day with the sand and a cooler full of beer and she won't be driving anywhere. Sam's Mom has agreed to ride the ferry with me, probably because if there are any three or thirteen-year-olds on board, they won't be hers. Ms. Classy doesn't like the beach any better than I do, so I can count on her for companionship out of the sun. Heart-breaker Soul-shaker isn't going, but who can blame her? Her husband does something important weekdays in Tokyo, London, and Opp, Alabama. She has to do her heart-breaking and soul-shaking on the weekend.
How about you? Do you like the beach?