I am going on a Magical Mystery Tour. In fact, at this reading, I will have already been, but at the writing, I have not. And I will tell you about it in the last part of the blog. Maybe there will be pictures. I don't know since it's such a big mystery. I named it myself, though I didn't think up the tour. That was all Dr. Great Smile's doing. A couple of months ago, she said to us—us being an eclectic bunch who have survived many things together—"If I plan a little outing for us, will y'all trust me and just go with it?"
"Yes!" I said. "Yes, yes, yes!" I think I was on my feet by then with my arms pumping in the air. She had told her husband, who is my eye doctor, that I would be the first to say yes and Picky Sticky would be the first to ask questions. And that's what happened.
This is what we know: (Mostly from Picky Sticky's questions.) We are meeting at Dr. Great Smile's office on Saturday afternoon at 3:30. We are departing at 3:45. We will return about 2 A.M. No one has to drive. We are to bring snacks, wine, and a hundred dollars. We will be inside 99 per cent of the time. There is no need for heavy clothes. We will want our purses to be small. We will want a camera.
Okay. It's Later.
I had never ridden in a limo before since I am not a movie star and Back In The Day, people did not go to the prom in limos. I, myself, was transported to the prom in a brand new Trans Am. I had daisies pinned to my shoulder and my shoes matched my dress. It was a different time.
Anyway. There's a lot to be said for a limo and an accommodating limo driver. He'll get you right in front for the Tivoli Theater in Chattanooga, Tennessee. He'll say, "You ladies are just fine in there. We'll sit right here until you are ready to get out or until they make us move." Then, he will proceed to stand in front of the limo door with his hands folded in front of him. He will go inside to see if there is a bar and report back. While you are in the theater hearing Jeanne Robertson be hilarious, he will go buy Cutest Girl the World some more Michelob Ultra. Then he will be there when you get out and he will put out a little red carpet for you. By the way, nobody made us move. I think they thought we were somebody.
I plan to do some more limo riding. It fit in very well with my view of how I like my life to go.
There is no way to describe how funny Jeannie Robertson is. I believe she is the funniest woman alive. At six feet, two inches tall, she enjoys the distinction of being the tallest Miss America contestant in history. The year was 1963. She has some stories to tell. If you will click on her name above you can go to YouTube and see "Don't Send a Man to the Grocery Store."
Since Jeannie was (and really is a beauty queen) Dr. Great Smile dictated that we all wear tiaras. Also, Dr. Great Smile was homecoming queen. Wearing tiaras was no imposition.
This is my pictorial diary of the evening. I wish I could show you a picture of the built-in champagne bucket, but I made a movie instead of a picture on accident. I know it sounds as though I liked the limo more than the show. I did not. But it was shiny and I am a magpie.
I do not have a picture of Jeanne. Taking pictures of a performer is just plain rude. But you can see her on her website.
Tom, the Limo Driver. Take note of the tall boots and the knees to his left.
The tall boots and the knees belong to Art Girl, who is also The Baby among us. She won best dressed for the night in her short skirt and tall boots. She looked sensational. We might have been mad at her for it, if she wasn't The Baby and we didn't love her so much.
Surprise! The Guy was able to turn my movie of the built in Champagne bucket into a picture. Much like Jeanne Robertson's husband, The Guy cannot get out of the box or be expected to go to the grocery store without incident, but he's got skills--many, many skills.
Inside the limo. I know. I'm Country come to Town. Or Country come to Limo, more like. What can I say? I went to the prom in a car with a decal of a giant bird on it.
Ms. Classy did a lot of research trying to figure out where she was going. She did not succeed. She became afraid she might be going to see the Chippendales. I told her that was not Dr. Great Smile's style.