I haven’t really been on my soap box lately, too much to do and not enough time to sit and cogitate over other people’s foibles. For some reason, last week’s attacks on Paula Deen irritated me. I don’t know the woman and have never really paid a lot of attention to her. I did eat one time at her buffet at the casino in Tunica, nothing special. I’ve never even bought one of her cookbooks. So I was surprised at the virulence of the attacks on her when she admitted she had diabetes. First of all, she is a business woman, selling a product – her cooking style. You don’t have to buy it and you certainly don’t have to use her methods. I do admire her get up and go. She overcame a lot in her life: divorce; agoraphobia; and raising children. Her decision to teach the United States about Southern cooking was her way to make a living, nothing more. Southern cooking tastes good. I was raised on it. I certainly don’t use the butter or bacon grease any more and I have never eaten a fried Twinkie (that’s on her menu at her restaurant in Savannah). That was the way my grandmother cooked and I remember fondly how much better her food tasted than mine. But I made the choice to cut the salt, the butter, the bacon grease and, ick, lard. I MADE THE CHOICE. Me, myself and I.
Isn’t that what being an adult means? You make your choices about what you eat, what you do and how you act. You deal with the results of your choices, good or bad. I sat and listened to Dr. Nancy Snyderman say that Paula Deen’s actions were egregious. The doctor pounded Paula about not telling the United States three years ago that she suffered from Type-2 diabetes (mostly this is old-age onset – usually a result of heredity and diet). Okay, since when is something like that anyone’s business? Paula Deen had a product and she sold her product. She owes me no moral responsibility to educate me about how to eat. As a matter of fact, she owes me nothing. Have we become a nation of sheep to be told how to eat, how to sleep, what to wear, what to read and how to act? What happen to our choices? If you are stupid and sit and eat lard all day, you know the result. Dr. Snyderman, who is branding her own business of writing health books (instead of working in the trenches, treating patients and dealing with people), has no business judging someone about making a living doing something that Deen loves – cooking. I just thoughts the attacks were egregious.
Using my “monkey brain,” I can extrapolate such a reaction to everything we do. What I hear the most is the responsibility that romance writers have to be realistic and tell women that there is no fairy tale love. We’ve been told endlessly that we set impressionable women up for failure when it doesn’t happen. I disagree. We, as writers, have a story to tell and we hope that it is entertaining to others. It’s FICTION. I am not here to educate you on the dark side of life; I am here to entertain (and hopefully become the next Linda Howard or Norah Roberts…). Who wants to fail by telling you that Billy is not your knight in shining armor so get over it? Not me. I want to be successful.
Are we responsible for our choices? I think so. We choose what to eat, what to read and everything else because it makes us happy. As with anything, we know that moderation is the key. I cannot sit all day and read, daydreaming about Adrian Paul coming to take me away – it isn’t healthy. Neither is cooking all the time like the recipes in Paula Deen’s cookbooks. I don’t stop at McDonald’s and grab a Big Mac for lunch every day ( I love Big Macs) because I know it isn’t healthy to eat that much fat even if it does taste good. I am an adult and I decide. I am responsible for me; Paula Deen and Ronald McDonald aren’t.
So, do you think that we need people to tell us how to eat, what to read, what to write, and how to act? Do you think that celebrities have a moral responsibility to tell us how to behave? Seriously, do you think that because they are celebrities that they are any smarter than you? That they are experts? Let me know your opinion.
Just thought this was funny...
I am so tired of so-called "experts" telling me what to eat, what to drive, what cleaning products to use, how to live, and what freakin' fertilizer to use on my lawn that all I can say is they should do those things if they believe in them so deeply, but get out of my face. I'll decide for myself, thankyouverymuch. Yes, this subject makes me testy. The people who attacked Paula Deen . . . well, whatever they're selling or endorsing, they just lost me.
ReplyDeleteThis whole situation is ridiculous. No one seems to express sympathy that a woman is trying to adjust her personal health while working hard not to lose her business because the media has found a perfect excuse to pounce. Life is constantly changing. We are the result of our actions and must take responsibility of our choices.
ReplyDeleteIf Paula Dean had revealed she had cancer the media would be completely sympathetic. Base line: it's none of anyone's business. Maybe her family has a history of diabetes. Maybe she cooks tasty Southern food but varies her diet based on her personal needs. We don't know. But that doesn't mean she can't sell a product she's good at creating.
How many celebrities and politicians do we know who live double lives? Is an actor who plays a serial killer really a serial killer? Where is common sense?
My husband does not smoke. In fact, he didn't allow smoking in his car or apartment, back when everyone else did. Yet, he gets really irate about laws that ban inside smoking completely. It's not only about choice, it about criminalization of smokers. It's taking the choice out of a business owner's hands. And what's next? No insurance for sports car drivers and overweight people? I've also heard that dark hair dye has been linked to cancer. Let's take that off the market too.
ReplyDeleteChoice. Paula Deen never said everyone should eat that way every day.
I am often heard saying, "It's my God given right as an American to_________________. " Usually this blank is filled in with something that I want to do but that someone is trying to tell me I can't do, like shop in Wal-Mart during a tornado warning.
ReplyDeleteI am with the Guy that our choices shouldn't be made for us, as adults we should have the freedom of choice!
I think that if a city or state outlaws smoking in public, then those institutions should in all honor refuse to take any tax money from the sale of tobacco. I don't have an objection to those laws, but I do object to the fact that they're essentially saying, "You can't do that here, it's nasty, but go ahead and put money in my hand." And I don't smoke, either. It just strikes me as hypocritical.
ReplyDeleteThis is of course the first I've heard of this story, because I don't do football (until now) OR news broadcasts. Why? For this very reason. I figured a long time ago that if reporters would concentrate that much effort on positive information, encouraging information and slaps on the back for success, what a different world we would live in.
ReplyDeleteI applaud Paula Deen for her tenacity to make life the best it could be in her world. And I love her recipes and cooking shows. I just don't eat like that very often. But it does remind me of my momma. She provides an emotional feel good for me, fat-free and calorie-free.
So I agree....freedom of choice is the only way! Tell me I can't do something and I'm likely to give it a shot.....just because.
Lesia, I love the Today show and World News Tonight!
DeleteSorry for responding so late - I had to be fitted with a walking boot for my injured foot. I am now hobbling around precariously on this boot. It has inflatable bladders on the side to tighten it - such a marvel! I can pump up my boot. Sorry, I am just fascinated with this thing. I digress.
ReplyDeleteYou are soo right Maven Linda. I am completely tired of everyone telling me what to do. I am an adult and I have a brain (well half of one anyway). And you are right about the state taking the money for cigarette taxes. I think they are speaking out of both sides of their mouths - you can't smoke but we will tax you and keep the money. You make a great point!
Kathy, yes, she is trying to save her business. And I am like you, this doesn't mean she cooks like this all the time and she probably does adjust her diet to accommodate her disease. But this is her business and she doesn't owe anyone an explanation.
Jean, I have to agree with the Guy. It takes the decision away from the property owner as to how they will run their own business. That is a very valid point that government is intruding on the business owner. Have you heard that there are some restaurants in California that will not serve certain food items to people that the restaurant determines have a weight problem? There is talk that this is going to be something that California is going to pass as an ordinance. I swear... And you are right, health insurance companies are considering increasing premiums for overweight people. I think it's a bad precedent and serves no purpose other than to make money for the companies.
Stephanie, it is my God-given right to __________________ because I am an American. I don't need celebrities, the government or anyone else telling me what I do (so long as I hurt no one else). Our rights, in the last few years, have been gradually taken away from us. (Uh oh, might be getting into protest mode - might creep Kathy out. LOL).
Oh, Lesia, I rarely watch television but I do watch the news in the morning as I am trying to wake up. Dr. Snyderman is the physician on the Today Show - she's always shooting her mouth off about something from her ivory tower. I also applaud Paula Deen. She is just making a living doing what she does best. No one told people you have to cook this way all the time. As my mother said, "If everyone walked off the bridge, would you follow them?" Independent thought is very important, as well as the choices I am allowed to make. And I am like you, tell me I can't do something and come hell or high water I am going to do it!
Jean & Mavin:
ReplyDeleteThe decision of smoking is much more simple than you are making it out to be. It is an issue of personal freedom, but not in the way you might expect.
The definition of liberty, as the framers intended, is that every person has the right to do whatever he or she pleases, without restriction... so long that their exercise of freedom does not interfere with another person's individual freedom. Often it's said: "My freedom extends to the tip of my nose and not an inch further." Government, in its simplest form, is to protect personal freedom from infringement by a third party.
Smoking is a choice - and everyone is free to make that choice themselves. Where the problem originates is second-hand smoke. While every individual has the right to ingest gaseous carcinogens (the government defines second-hand smoke as such), their freedom does not extend to the air around them. By smoking in public places, around non-consenting people, the creation of second-hand smoke interferes with the free liberty of anyone who has not actively consented in breathing in those airborne carcinogens. Although one has the right to smoke, one does not have the right to subject others to their second-hand smoke.
Unfortunately, very few people understand this Constitutional explanation of individual freedom. Even fewer choose to apply it when they choose to deal out unwanted second-hand smoke.
Hey Matthew C! Thanks for posting today. As a kid who had to breath in cigarette smoke from two parents who smoked two packs a day each, I understand what you're trying to say. ;)
DeleteMatthew--Welcome. We appreciate your comments. I am sure that many people do not understand the Constitutional explanation of individual freedom, but I am not one of them. I also understand the harmful effects of second hand smoke and have no desire to breath it--especially when I am trying to eat. There was a restaurant in town that did not have a non smoking area, so I did not go to that restaurant. I still believe that owner had a right to run her business as she saw fit. I, in turn, had a choice as to whether or not I elected to eat there.
ReplyDeleteThe courthouse is a different matter. I must go there to renew my tag, driver license, and--once--sit in court when a crack head stole my credit card number. But that's another story.
Hey Matthew C. Welcome to the blog. A little discourse here...the second-hand smoke studies are not definitive - there as many studies that say there is no correlation between it and cancer. Just saying that maybe the government picked and chose what to assert. I can't argue for or against this when there are equal studies on both sides. That said, yes my Constitutional rights cannot infringe upon yours but yours cannot infringe on mine either. What Jean and Maven Linda are saying is your right is infringing on the restaurant owner's property right to have the type of restaurant they choose, smoke-free or allowing smoking. If the restaurant allows smoking and you don't want to breathe it or smell it, then it is your choice not to frequent that restaurant or work there or even pass by it. If the economy won't support that restaurant because there are fewer smokers than non-smokers then it will close - it will be market-driven. The problem is the government infringing on the rights of property owners - their freedom to choose. We are talking about private businesses here, not the public places. Yes, the government can issue no-smoking rules in public places - a restaurant is not a public place. Hope you come back to the blog. We appreciate everyone's view!
ReplyDeleteI agree that Ms. Deen has every right to keep her personal life private and separate from her business. I also agree that as adults, we are responsible for our actions and thoughts and so on.
ReplyDeleteBUT.
American society seems to have decided that the issue of educating (both intellectually and practically) everyone is better put on someone else. For example, grammar in public schools. I had the opportunity to attend school in two very different school systems. However, despite their differences, in both school systems the assumption appeared that all of the students had already received sufficient grammar training. And this assumption was made in each grade, starting in middle school. There was a complete breakdown in communication: there was insufficient communication both between teachers of different grades and between teachers and students.
The communication breakdown and false expectations happen with other issues too- like healthy eating habits and manners. Schools assume parents teach their children how to eat right and how to act in polite society, and vice versa. What you end up with is a generation of people who don't really know how to take care of themselves. So, yes it's ridiculous that we expect celebrities to teach us how to eat and what to read as well as a plethora of other things we honestly should have learned as children. But it is the state of affairs right now. Paula Deen chose to make a profit off of delicious, greasy, heart clogging Southern food in a society where almost 26 million people suffer from some sort of diabetes. She might not have known this exact statistic, but she surely was not oblivious. Celebrities and public figures, when choosing or falling into a right-in-the-middle-of-things type of career, also choose or fall into the responsibility of having to portray themselves a certain way. And while I would not expect or wish anyone to take on the moral obligation of teaching our society how to conduct itself, I would certainly applaud any individual brave enough to take on such an obligation.
Hey Clair! Thanks for joining us under the Tulip tree today!
DeleteAs a military brat, I can vouch for what you're trying to say here too. I attended a gazillion schools. None of them were teaching at the same rate. They were so different that I had to sit for nearly 3 months while the class learned what I'd already learned at my other school. And then I had to put my head to the grindstone to catch up when I moved to another school. My brother had to redo 2nd grade because he hadn't learned his multiplication tables yet. Grrrr!
Welcome Clair. Thanks for your viewpoint. My point was that Paula Deen does not have that responsibility and should not be attacked for it. She is making a living - just like people who work on assembly lines making cars which produce harmful gases but I don't see them telling you not to buy a car because it is bad for the environment. I understand what you are saying that we have created a society of people who are ill-equipped to take care of themselves. I just don't think that if a person chooses not to educate people that they should be lamblasted for it. Thanks for your opinion and it's great to expand our views on everything.
ReplyDeleteWait....? A crack head stole your credit card, Jean? Do tell us the story, please! Were there monkeys involved?
ReplyDeleteThere will always be monkeys...
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