It is my belief that we have basic human rights that protect us in a civilized society. My basic rights are being violated, nay, mutilated every week at the baseball field where instead of being able to kick back and watch some Little League my poor eyes are exposed to horror after horror. As a result of this retina trauma, the other night I composed this list (with the help of Harris's Mom and Super Teacher) of what to wear at the baseball field. These guidelines can really be applied to any outdoor casual event in the South. I see this as a public service and hope you will share it with your friends and neighbors.
What to Wear at the Baseball Park
1. Wear a Shirt. Now you would expect that this rule would mostly apply to men--andfor the most part it does--but there seems to be a trend among women (adults who should know better) to not wear a real shirt. They simply wear a sports bra and some bottoms. This is not okay, in fact, this rule was almost called, It's a sports bra not a shirt.
2. Wear shorts that fit. If I wanted to see your butt, I would change your diaper. I have seen way, way, way too many butt cracks! Both male and female, unfortunately. You would think this rule would only apply to too much skin showing because pants are cut so low. But sadly I have also seen cheeks sagging out the bottom of shorts that were woefully too small and often too tight, but that is another rule.
3. Wear clothes that fit--not ones that fit you when you were five, but ones that fit you thirty years later. The Guy has a saying that sums up this situation, "That is a nice outfit. It is a pity they didn't have it in her size." Enough said on that subject.
I realize that is covers only the most basic of rules for what to wear, but I felt that so many people seemed to need help that we should keep it simple and start with three rules. Perhaps you all can add more rules for us...
What do you think should be worn to the baseball park?
SHOES! When I was a kid, dirty feet didn't bother me, because I was usually the one with dirty feet. I was a barefoot kind of kid, winter and summer. I'm not a kid now. If you're in public -- shoes, please.
ReplyDeleteAh, a great addition! I didn't think about that because I always wear shoes but you are right that when in public one should always wear them!
DeleteI have spent more time in a football stadium of late than at the baseball field. I've seen a lot of overdressing at football games--and I'm not talking about homecoming. What's with stilettos and short skirts on moms? It doesn't even make sense. Beecher climbing. Cold. Asphalt.
ReplyDeleteThere is also a tend in my town for players' moms to wear their sons' letter jackets during the game. Maybe I just don't understand what's going on there, but I find that a little creepy.
Godson's Mom never did it. Neither did Ms. Classy. And considering she has twins, she had two to pick from. To quote Ms. Classy, "I've got my own jackets."
I have never heard of that but I am with you it is creepy! Are they going steady?
DeleteYou can always count on Ms. Classy!
I've never heard of beecher climbing. Is that related to bleecher climbing? Muahhahaha!
DeleteYes, it is like bleecher climbing only tougher because we have to do it in 150% humdity while looking great!
DeleteOk. First of all, I apologize for being MIA this week on everyone. I'm buried in self imposed deadlines to become PRO before the cows come home. So, girls, I'm sorry. But seeing as I had to poke my head in the blog-door to post tomorrows blog....well, here I am. And God love you Stephanie for this post!
ReplyDeleteI know this might come as a shock to you sports loving women because you know I don't do sports. But, huhmm.....I confess. I played baseball for many years when I was younger. Mostly as pitcher, but I also played shortstop, outfield and 3rd base. And I admit. The ball fields can attract some seriously wrong attire. And yes, the players DO notice. They see all....the shirtless, the braless and the creepers, too. So, start a revival and post the list at ballparks all across America! :D
Lesia, I am not a bit surprised to hear that you played ball. I bet you were really good at it.
DeleteI am equally sure that you are correct that the players notice what folks are wearing. No one is more critical than a teenage girl!
Maybe we could put the rules on flyers up in the concession stand windows
I love it! The rules right next to the popcorn details!
DeleteAh! I played fast pitch softball for three years... (Left field, center field & rover) Just sayin...
DeleteThough I do admit that shortstop and third base were cooler positions. Snaps, Lesia!
DeleteThis isn't fresh. I tell it to anyone who wants to listen and quite a few who do not.
ReplyDeleteThe Federal Government needs to issue of list of those allowed to wear spandex. I would not be on the list. I have not illusions about that.
Stephanie likes to give out fashion citations in her head. She once said that she was only mean about people who wronged those she loved and wore ugly clothes.
Well, I had to draw the line somewhere and that seemed like a good place.
DeleteBaseball field attire rules? I LOVE It!
ReplyDeleteWear a shirt long enough to cover your stomach.
Here's a few other rules:
Don't chew with your mouth open. Especially important when everyone around you is eating and spitting sunflower seeds on the ground.
Put your trash in the trash can.
Leave the dirty language at home, kids are everywhere.
Don't cuss your son or daughter out in front of the public. Everyone makes a mistake.
Ah, Kathy, that is a good one about a shirt!
DeleteAs for the dirty language and cussing your kids out in public, well ball field behavior is an entirely differnt blog!
Ahem... I expect that blog to happen in the not so distant future, Stephanie. LOL! Try not to disappoint...
DeleteBy the by, your boy is going to the Browns!
ReplyDelete